Missed Phone Call

If I could turn back time and somehow take the pain you had as a child I would.

I would tell you how this life you were given had purpose.

I would protect you from every scar, mental and physical that lead you to addiction.

I would tell you that you could be a great dad, that despite your pain you didn’t need all the alcohol and drugs to cope.

I would tell you to hide in the bosom of your mother, the mother who’s love knew no wrong.

I wish I could turn the hands of time so I would stop being so tough and answer your calls, I would tell you that even though I was angry at you for not choosing life I would eventually understand that it wasn’t you I was angry at, it was the addiction that I hated.

I would tell you how much I love you.

Now you’re gone and I sit here yearning one more moment, just one more to tell you.

To say that although you couldn’t beat the addiction I saw your attempt.

I saw your past, I knew how hard it was to even try to be better for me, for my brother, for my kids.

That attempt I was proud of.

I would’ve taken that call that night.

I wouldn’t have let you call some random neighbor.

I would have listened to you and told you that I didn’t hate you.

That I just didn't know how to cope.

That I thought you needed tough love so that you could be the great person I knew you were... sober.

I would’ve told you I believed in you.

Now you’re gone...and I never got the chance.

Don’t worry I’ll take care of your mom... my mom.

But I wish I could turn the hands of time...dad, I pray somehow you know that.